...apparently.

Yes, parishioners - your Rt. Rev is still here. However, I must point out that you should remain behind the virtual cordon I have set up, as any closer, you could be susceptible to infection by acute viral nasopharyngitis gillinghamis upperis, or 'the Upper Gillingham Cold'.

After battling through a chest infection, I was delighted to be re-infected (no names mentioned), and I have just managed to stem the constant nasal mopping, and laryngal sputum.

Anyway, some good news. Many of you will have noticed the recent addition of SMS donations. Yes, that was my work. But vast improvements have been made since then. Want to try it out? Great! Text msc2c to 84767 (£3/text, contact Ralph for support) - it really is that simple.

You guessed it - I love technology. So this post is a double whammy. You can also get the latest msC2C news straight to your mobile! For this one, text msc2c to 82820 (15p/text received, text STOP MSC2C to unsubscribe), and we guarantee you'll be satisfied, if not mentally satiated.

Oh and yes, a belated Happy Easter to you all. I must stress I have been under much anguish after seeing the unsanitised crucifixion of Our Lord on Sunday night, in the film 'The Passion of the Christ'.

Forever Yours,

Rev. Ralph Allison
(Universal Ministries)